This
week was quite the week. I really feel like I just wrote and now I’m writing
again. A few days late mind you because of the temple and then broken computers
but all is well now.
I’ve
learned so much in this time and I’ve really felt the hand of the Lord guiding
my life. I’m grateful for the constant guidance of the Holy Ghost and the
answers to prayers that I have received.
My
core experience with God this week was a training that we received in Zone
Training Meeting. I feel like this was an exact answer to my prayers. I’d been
praying and feeling the weight and responsibility that I had for my area, my
companions and the stewardship the Lord blessed us with.
I
prayed the night before we went to training that I would know what Heavenly
Father would desire me to do, and how I could change to build a better
environment in the area right now, to find the balance between the three of us
and to work effectively.
What
I learned is that I was stumbling because of my over anxiety. In Jacob 4:18 it
says
18 Behold, my beloved brethren, I will unfold this mystery unto you;
if I do not, by any means, get shaken from my firmness in the Spirit, and
stumble because of my over anxiety for you.
I’d
been nervous overwhelmed and I was feeling pressure, and I needed something to
change. And what I learned, was just to let go. To let it all go and leave it
in the Lord’s hands.
1
Let go of perfectionism-stop trying to make everyone happy. It’s impossible-the
Lord does not expect that of me. (Yay I’m a perfectionist. But I’m going to let
it go!)
2.
Let go of feelings of over responsibility. No ones success or salvation depends
on me.
3
let go of being over zealous( or to eager) Just work diligently
4.
Let go of things which have proven impossible. Others agency not mine. Don’t
give up to quickly but don’t go on forever.
5
Let go of fear-- fear of pain of the future, give it all to God. Trust in His
plan and accept His will.
6
Let go of false beliefs. My worth is not dependent on my accomplishments.
7.
Let go of misery. Misery is optional. Sorrow is real. Misery most often comes
from stories we tell ourselves. I need to Lean on God and not myself.
8.
Let go of self set priorities. Focus on one thing that is needful. Focus on
what the Lord wants and being exactly where he wants me to be 100% of the time.
I
too often try to control the situation and I want the process to go this
certain way, but it’s the Lord's way. I feel that I’ve learned more how to get
out of the way with our investigators, I’ve learned to let the Lord lead them
and guide them the way He wants them to go and when they are ready they will
come.
But
I had to learn the same lesson with my companions and with myself. My
progression as well as theirs also has to come in the Lord’s time and in His
way. As I knelt in prayer I began to thank the Lord for the inspired training
received and what it meant for me was to let go of it all. To put the control
in the Lord’s hands and let him lead us and guide us by the hand. He has
promised me this on countless occasions, I just feel personal responsibility as
well. But what I always need to remember is that my level of personal
responsibility does not fall into the category of things that are impossible. I
can’t change other people I can only change myself. And that is all the Lord
asks of me.
I
know the Lord is there for me at all times, and in all things. And as long as I
open my heart, and mind to him, he will be there.
In
my experience as teaching as Jesus Taught I learned more of the potential that
the Lord has for all his children, and the way He prepares them for their
future responsibilities in building the kingdom of God.
We
were given a referral this week from a wonderful member. She had a Samoan
family that she wanted us to visit and get in contact with. Her thought was
more for the parents, but the Lord had other plans. When we knocked on the door
an 18 year old boy opened the door and immediately let us in. Hmm. Interesting,
but alright we will go in. We sat down with
him and started talking, getting to know him a little bit better and asking him
of his basic beliefs and things. He is a very strong family man, he feels his
responsibility is to care for his family and he would do anything at all for
his family. As we were talking the strongest impression from the spirit came to
me to ask him if he had any desire to serve a mission. I thought it was a bit
different because he was catholic and all other things, but I decided to listen
to the spirit. I asked him afterwards and he said he would love to, but he was
afraid of the rejection he would face. He listed a lot of other concerns and
they were all very similar to how most of us feel before we begin our service.
We testified to him then and there that if he served he would have the
power of God on his side. He looked really content with that and he looked more
at peace. I knew that the Lord desired this boy, who was only 18 to serve
a mission and to serve with power and great faith.
I
felt so much love for him and I really wanted to help him to get to that point
to show the world that He knew the Lord.
Something
else I learned this week form Zone Training Meeting really strengthened my
faith in the Restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We focused a lot in the
training about why we should teach the restoration and focus on teaching it to
everyone. We were committed to do so and so my companions and I decided
to start only teaching the restoration with all we met. My goodness it has made
a whole world of difference.
We
practiced and role played over and over, teaching short and powerful statements
with the three of us, and because we practiced the Lord blessed us with
opportunities to teach.
In
a period of about 2 hours, we found a lot of new investigators, 1 of which is a
huge family who has a great desire to learn and progress in the Gospel.
I
found that as I shared the Restoration, and testified of it’s truth I learned
so much. The spirit was stronger in our companionship and people were looking
at us differently and responding in ways more powerful, then before.
I
felt though that it was like a restoration of truth in my own life. I look at
Joseph Smith and how the truth was restored to him in the sacred grove. He saw
God the father and Jesus Christ. The truth was given back to him that he had
once learned but didn’t have at the time. And that is what the Lord does for
each of us, if we but ask.
In
D&C 46:7 it reads.
7
But ye are commanded in all things to ask of God, who giveth liberally; and
that which the Spirit testifies unto you even so I would that ye should do in
all holiness of heart, walking uprightly before me, considering the end of
your salvation, doing all things with prayer and thanksgiving, that ye may not
be seduced by evil spirits, or doctrines of devils, or the commandments of
men; for some are of men, and others of devils.
Joseph
Smith asked God and he gave him liberally all the truth he was seeking. And he
took the Gospel and shared it to all the world, and it is still happening
today. We are going forth as the Lord’s army restoring the truths that have
been lost and given them the light and knowledge they need.
D&C
105:31
31
But first let my army become very great, and let it be sanctified before me,
that it may become fair as the sun, and clear as the moon, and that her banners
may be terrible unto all nations;
I feel so blessed to be part of this work
in this day and age. I know without doubt in mind that Heavenly Father is our
Father. He lives, and Jesus Christ is His only Begotten son. I know that the
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the Lord’s kingdom on the earth
and I’m grateful to be a part of this Hastening.
Love you All
Sister Benjamin
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