July 28, 2014

Wow. What a wonderful week! Full of joy and miracles and just a little bit of sadness.

I’m sad to say that Sister A has left the coop, she’s flown away… We were sad to see her go. We loved her so much. But we know that she is on to bigger and better things now. 

But a wonderful blessing is that Sister L and I get to stay together for my last transfer!  I couldn’t think of a better companion to spend this time with. She is amazing and we are just going to work so hard and see miracles and I couldn’t be happier.

My core experience with God this week was definitely meeting and teaching a beautiful new investigator. Ahh. She’s wonderful. A couple of days ago, we had placed one of our investigators in our plans for the day, just as a back up because he said he didn’t want to see us for a couple of weeks until his work got settled down. But the spirit so strongly prompted us to go and see him. As we went up to his house and knocked, his daughter answered the door. WE asked for him but he was at work. She invited us in anyway. She is only 16 and has been in Australia for a year. She is wonderful. WE chatted with her for about 30 minutes talking about the church and coming to find out that she has a great desire to come to church with us.

We made an appointment to come back the next day. We taught her about the Book of Mormon and she just kept flipping it over and over in her hand and then she started to read. WE were teaching her about it and she said that it was the best gift she had ever been given!  Ah the spirit was so strong. I love her to pieces. At the end of the lesson we asked her to pray and she said she didn’t know how to pray. So we taught her as we were all kneeling on the ground and she said the most beautiful prayer. I love hearing people pray for the first time. She did wonderful and the spirit was strong. We left right after, trying really hard to leave on a spiritual high.

We asked one of the member families to take her and her sister to Church because they have daughters the same age. They picked them up, and it turns out that this family actually knows them. Ahh. Miracles. They loved Church. It just looked like they were part of the ward already. After they asked if they could come to mutual this week, of course we said yes. These girls are beautiful and they have such a beautiful desire to learn more about the Gospel. It was such a testimony to me of the youth of the rising generation and how prepared and ready they are for the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

In my experience as teaching as Jesus Taught, Wednesday night we had rescue night. Sister L went with the Relief Society President and Sister A and I went to visit another Less Active family. Our ward mission leader said he had been pondering both these families and he knew we needed to see them. When we walked up and the sister immediately said “Oh! I’m so grateful you’re here. We definitely need the help now.” We sat down and we watched a mormon message and talked about the blessings of prayer in a family, and especially with husband and wife. She said that was exactly what they needed to hear. They told us a lot of the things they had been struggling with lately and that somehow we just knew it was the right time (thanks to our ward mission leader). After the lesson we knelt together with all their kids and said a pray. The spirit was beautiful and I know they felt it. They looked so much happier as we left and they kept thanking us for stopping by.

After the lesson Sister A mentioned how amazing it is to be able to go into a house like that and with not knowing the family very well, for them to be able to share with us immediately the things they were struggling with. She remarked that they could see us as disciples of Christ. It really helped me to remember why we serve and how much of a blessing it is for us to be able to bear the Savior’s name on our heart.

Another beautiful lesson we had this week was with a Less Active sister and her friend who just happened to walk up right before the lesson started. She sat down with us, being a member of the salvation army, and listened intently to the message. We spoke of enduring to the end and the battle that we all face in life, and how that helps us to turn to the Lord and apply the Atonement in our lives. Both these sisters were full of the spirit and you could tell they needed. When we came back the next day, this sister told us that the whole time she had been worried about how her friend would respond because she had never introduced her to the Gospel or anything of the sort. She said her friend was so happy to have been there with us, that it was so refreshing to see 3 young women have such great faith and love for our Heavenly Father. She said it really helped her open her eyes to what she was missing.

I love that no matter where we are we must act as Disciples of Christ, and we never know what might happen. But as we do as the Lord would, then miracles happen and people see the difference in us and they want to change for the better.

An experience I had this week with my missionary purpose helping me was in a PMG study that sister L and I did. We were reading in Jacob 5: 64

“Wherefore, dig about them, and prune them, and dung them once more, for the last time, for the end draweth nigh. And if it be so that these last grafts shall grow, and bring forth the natural fruit, then shall ye prepare the way for them, that they may grow.”

This scripture really stuck out to me, about enduring to the end, and never giving up on myself, or anyone else. I had been feeling the weight of going home soon and that I still wanted to change and improve as much as I possibly could before finishing. And this scripture was exactly what I needed to hear. That if I desired to grow then the Lord would bless me and help me to grow as I should before I go, but not only me, but others around me.

And I know that this transfer we will live just as the Nephites did, when they left the Lamanites and desired and strived to be the best they could.

2 Nephi 5:27

And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness.

I truly feel so blessed to be here serving in Hassall Grove. I love the people and I love the way the Lord is shaping me and helping me to become like him.

I found this scripture this week in my studies and I just had to share, as I feel it is a perfect theme for my mission and the person that I have become.

Job 5: 17-18

17 Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty:

  18 For he maketh sore, and bindeth up: he woundeth, and his hands make whole.

The Lord tries those he trusts and I’m grateful for the way he has shaped me.

Love you

Sister Benjamin

Love You All!

What a wonderful week. I learned so much and it has been great.

My core experience with God this week was seeing a beautiful girl get baptized. Their family has been very less active for a long time. We had started visiting them because we saw they had a daughter who wasn’t baptized. It seemed that in their family the Dad was the leader of the home, but he wasn’t the priesthood holder of the home. So we would teach their daughter and she would be so excited to get baptized but then her Dad wouldn’t let it go through. A couple of weeks back Bishop had told us that the child of record baptism was on the 19 and that we should try to get her along for that. We prayed so hard before that she would be able to and that her Dad would be ready to baptize her and get things moving.

We taught them and then the spirit so strongly told us to invite their family. As we did so we looked at her and she was so excited, but then we looked at the Dad. He had a really concerned look on his face and we didn’t want to push him so we waited in silence. After about 5 minutes he looked at us and said that he would prepare both himself, and his daughter to be ready by the 19^th. It was a marvelous moment.  The spirit was so strong I felt so blessed to have been able to witness that miracle.

On Saturday as she had her baptism she looked beautiful and as she was baptized the spirit was powerful and I could feel such a strong love for her and her Dad from Heavenly Father. The spirit burned in my heart and I knew that God was pleased with their choice to be worthy and for her to get baptized. 

My experience as Teaching as the Savior taught has really impacted me this week. Lately I have been praying to be in exactly the place the Lord wants me to be, and asking to be worthy to be there. We have had many experiences where we have been in exactly the right place at the right time. It has strengthened my testimony that Heavenly Father does hear and answer prayers and that He knows His children.

On Saturday night we felt strongly to go visit one of the Less-Active sisters in the ward to invite her to come to Church. But as we were walking up to her door we saw a young mother and her toddler son standing outside their house. It was really dark, and quite cold, but they were just sitting on the steps. WE said hello as we passed by but then we kept talking to her. We found out she had been locked out of her house. Hmm..imagine that! We continued talking to her and she had never heard of the Church before. She believed in God but she didn’t know where to go for Church. WE told her about our services and she was so interested. She asked us if she could come and if she could bring her son with her. Of course! We encourage families to come. She was so excited. I knew the Lord placed us in exactly the right place at the right time.

Another experience was with my first convert baptism? Well she had been on my mind quite a bit lately. She hadn’t been to the temple since she got baptized and I wanted to help that process move along. As I was praying the other night she and the temple just kept coming to mind. I wasn’t sure why or what I could do to help her but I prayed that I would be able to help her in some way. On Sunday before Church we were walking up and she came walking out. (Just as a side note, recently she moved into a ward that goes to the same chapel we do) She had a tear stained red face, and I immediately was concerned. WE ran up to her and we chatted for a little while and she told us the good and bad news. She had been having some family problems and she was really struggling, but the good news what that she had just gotten her temple recommend!  YAY! She said she went to the grounds yesterday and that she felt the spirit strongly there, and that she couldn’t wait to go in.

I felt sorry for her and all the trials she was going through. She kept asking why she couldn’t get a break, why she had to keep going through all these things. But because of the guidance of the spirit we were able to testify of the blessings that will come to her as she faithfully keeps her covenants. We were able to promise her blessings through her faith, and it was a really powerful experience. She said she couldn’t wait to go to the temple and I can’t wait for her to go either.

I know the Lord guided us to be there at exactly the right time to help her to be at peace and ease her in her suffering. It was a blessing for me because of the great relationship we have, she was able to open up to me and allowed me to help her. I’m so grateful for the spirit in guiding our every footstep. It is a wonderful blessing.

Now as for my greatest fear in missionary work, I think at the beginning of my mission I was more afraid of losing myself in coming on a mission. I felt like the biggest part of my identity was the things of the world and I was scared about letting that go. But the Lord knew and saw otherwise and has really helped me to see that I can only find who I really am in the Gospel. I think my biggest fear now would be, not being able to live up to my potential, and the plan that God has for me.

 At times I feel very inadequate, okay most of the time. I feel that the work the Lord asks of me is beyond my faith and ability to do. But of course these feelings never come from God. He never places fear in our hearts. Something that I have learned that helps me to overcome this is being vulnerable. I think  a big reason that I get scared is thinking I will get hurt, or that it will be more than I can handle and that I will fail. I sometimes fail to start things because I want to succeed and I want God to be pleased with me. Being vulnerable has helped me, because I have learned through experience that the only way I can ever accomplish what the Lord asks is by going forward, with the eye of faith and trusting that the Lord will help me and that I will do as His plan is.

As I am vulnerable I feel the spirit on a much deeper level, that I can’t if I’m not willing to move forward, or try to do what the Lord asks. But it also makes the sad, hard, and bad, moments even harder to handle because I am so open. But I have learned that it helps me so much more. I learn so much more from the trials and things that I face.

It makes me think of a scripture in Mosiah  4:11-12

11 And again I say unto you as I have said before, that as ye have come to the knowledge of the glory of God, or if ye have known of his goodness and have tasted‍ of his love, and have received a remission‍ of your sins, which causeth such exceedingly great joy in your souls, even so I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own nothingness, and his goodness‍ and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures, and humble yourselves even in the depths of humility, calling‍ on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly‍ in the faith of that which is to come, which was spoken by the mouth of the angel.

  12 And behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love‍ of God, and always retain‍ a remission of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge‍ of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true.

I know that for me compared to God I am nothing, and I have no strength to even accomplish the things here. But to God I am everything, and as I acknowledge His greatness and my nothingness, my humility before him, I am changed. I become like him and I can be filled with His love.

I overcome this fear of falling short, by realizing that the only way I can stop falling short is by having the Lord’s help, having full faith and trust in him, and becoming a Disciple of Christ.

I have evaluated my fears this week and I have tried to come to understand what the Lord has wanted me to learn and this is what I have learned. That I need to be vulnerable and humble before him, and He will direct me and help me to keep the faith.

I’m grateful for the loving guidance of my Heavenly Father and I am grateful for the blessing this mission has been to me in my life.

Love you!

Sister Benjamin

High Tide!

Some well used scriptures!

Hello my beautiful family and friends! 

This week has been a wonderful week. I feel like one of the fastest of my mission thus far. I can’t believe how fast the time is going.

My core experience with God for the week was certainly the beautiful fireside our ward put on last night. There are two older ladies who come to everyone fireside and they call themselves “fireside junkies.” I think I would say the same now. Our ward has put on 2 in the last couple of weeks and they both have been beautiful. But this one last night was by far my favourite. The spirit was SO STRONG. I didn’t want it to end. Many  of the people in the audience were in tears through out the whole night.

It was a missionary fireside so the ward mission leader and us as the missionaries organized it. I felt pretty stressed about the whole thing. In the beginning everything seemed great but then all the musical numbers kept cancelling! Ah! But it worked out beautifully the night of. The members worked with us so well and they were happy to help. We had a group of mid singles just happening to be practicing in the chapel that night that offered to sing. They are Maori and so is our bishop so he sang along with them and it was GREAT! 

One of my favourite parts though was when R got up and bore her testimony. She shared her conversion story with us, and it melted everyone’s heart. She spoke of some of the trials her family has been facing, but she said the thing that got her through was reading the Book of Mormon and praying. She said she knows that it’s true, and that this Church is true.  I couldn’t help but cry as she spoke. I felt the spirit so strong and I knew the Lord had prepared her for this change in her life.

Another part I loved was when the missionaries got up and we sang I Believe in Christ. I love singing and bearing my testimony at the same time. The spirit was so strong and so many people were in tears. I couldn’t look at them because then I would just start bursting with my own tears. It was a beautiful experience. I love being a missionary and having this sacred calling. Knowing that I wear the Lord’s name on my heart and that I can represent him, it’s just a beautiful experience.  

Another really amazing point was at the end when Bishop and the Stake President were giving their closing remarks. Bishop got up and was in tears. The ward here has changed so much in the last 8 months. The Ward council and members are working so well with us and things are really moving forward. You could see the joy in his eyes as he expressed the Love he had for us. When he sat down I couldn’t help but feel the greatest love and appreciation for having such a wonderful Bishop. He definitely reminds me of my Dad, and seeing the pressure put on his shoulders was hard to watch. But knowing that we are here to lift his burdens and help the work move along makes it all better. He really is a great man, one who I know is called of God right here and now to be leading this ward.

The Stake President spoke last and it was wonderful. One thing I love was that he said that our ward was at high tide. “When it’s high tide all the ships rise.” He spoke of our ward leading in Family History and Temple work and being unified, member to missionary. He is only 48 years old, and he said he has no idea why the Lord called him at this time. But we all know why. He is amazing. He is really aligned with the Brethren and helping the work move forward. He spoke of the Lord needing warriors, stripling warriors. We truly are the Lord’s army working together as one.

You could feel it in that room. The Lord’s work is hastening and we are all a part of it! Ahh!

 My experience as Teaching as Jesus Taught was with a wonderful investigator. We were walking down the street and a man was standing there and he called us over. We began chatting and he asked us who we were and what we were doing. We told him we were missionaries and he said “So what you want me to join your church?” We immediately just said yes. The confidence my companions had was absolutely beautiful. He just laughed and said okay walk with me. So we walked for a while getting to know him and he asked us again…”so you want me to get baptized.” We said yes again, and so he invited us over on Friday. We unfortunately had to miss the appointment but we were able to go back on Saturday.

He was drinking when we got there, which was sad to see. But we began talking and he was talking about all these things, things he didn’t like about Church and why he didn’t want to come. I felt to just bear testimony of the blessings of Church and why he needed to be there. As we did the spirit came in so strong. He felt it and he put his drink under the table. He just stared at me and I could just feel it in my bones. He then said okay. I’ll keep learning. You couldn’t deny that the spirit was there and we knew he felt it as well. Ahh. I love being able to feel the spirit! It’s probably my favourite part about being a missionary.

An experience that I have had over the course of my mission that has really transformed me spiritually is learning about repentance. Before I came out I always thought repentance was more for the big mistakes we make. I would often just say sorry to Heavenly Father and then move on. I had very big misconceptions about the process of repentance. But something that has really shaped me is learning what it means to really repent, to have a change of heart and see God, myself and the world differently.

I’ve learned that as I’ve been able to be so close to the spirit that what repentance is more for me now, is all the little things that poke at my spirit.

President Eyring once said “The good works that really matter require the help of heaven. And the help of heaven requires working past the point of fatigue so far that only the meek and lowly will keep going long enough.”

In Enos 1: 4-8 it says  4 And my soul hungered; and I kneeled‍ down before my Maker, and I cried‍ unto him in mighty prayer‍ and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.

 5 And there came a voice‍ unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven‍ thee, and thou shalt be blessed.

 6 And I, Enos, knew that God could‍ not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away.

 7 And I said: Lord, how is it done?

 8 And he said unto me: Because‍ of thy faith‍ in Christ, whom thou hast never before heard nor seen. And many years pass away before he shall manifest himself in the flesh; wherefore, go to, thy faith hath made thee whole.

Because of Enos faith he was able to pray all the day long and all night and because of his effort relying on the powers of Heaven He received a remission of sins.

On my mission it has been hard at times because it seems that the things I struggle with are on a flashing billboard that says here is all of Sister Benjamin’s mistakes.

One of my greatest desires is to be a disciple of Christ and if I just focus on the bad things I start to struggle and feel down, which is not how we should feel. But on my mission I have come to learn that repentance is a gift. It is an opportunity just as was Enos, to kneel down before our maker and cry unto him and pour out our souls as an offering to him. There we come to learn and commune with God, and begin to know on a deeper level who we really are and who we can become.

An example of this was a lesson we had this week with an investigator. We were teaching and the spirit was just not there, we started well but then we started to rely on our words, trying to control the lesson and the spirit just left. I felt so bad. I began to pray to so hard. I knew that the lesson would go no where without the spirit. And because of the prayer of faith the spirit came back and we were able to get back on track. But I knew we had been mistaken and I felt bad. Afterwards we talked about it and we discussed what we could do better to have the spirit with us and It feel so good. As I prayed that night I asked the Lord for his help to guide me to be better able to listen and respond to the spirit and do all that I can to keep it with me at all times.

I felt such a sweet peace afterwards and I felt the Lord’s love for me.

In Jeremiah 31:34 it says

34 And they shall teach no more every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for they shall all know‍ me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, saith the Lord: for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.

I testify that the Lord knows us and through repentance we can come to Know the Lord and that He will forgive us and remember our sin no more!

I love this Gospel and I’m so grateful to be a missionary for this sacred time.

Love you All

Sister Benjamin

July 8, 2014

This week was quite the week. I really feel like I just wrote and now I’m writing again. A few days late mind you because of the temple and then broken computers but all is well now. 

I’ve learned so much in this time and I’ve really felt the hand of the Lord guiding my life. I’m grateful for the constant guidance of the Holy Ghost and the answers to prayers that I have received.

My core experience with God this week was a training that we received in Zone Training Meeting. I feel like this was an exact answer to my prayers. I’d been praying and feeling the weight and responsibility that I had for my area, my companions and the stewardship the Lord blessed us with.

I prayed the night before we went to training that I would know what Heavenly Father would desire me to do, and how I could change to build a better environment in the area right now, to find the balance between the three of us and to work effectively.

What I learned is that I was stumbling because of my over anxiety. In Jacob 4:18 it says

 18 Behold, my beloved brethren, I will unfold this mystery unto you; if I do not, by any means, get shaken from my firmness in the Spirit, and stumble because of my over anxiety for you.

I’d been nervous overwhelmed and I was feeling pressure, and I needed something to change. And what I learned, was just to let go. To let it all go and leave it in the Lord’s hands.

1 Let go of perfectionism-stop trying to make everyone happy. It’s impossible-the Lord does not expect that of me. (Yay I’m a perfectionist. But I’m going to let it go!) 

2. Let go of feelings of over responsibility. No ones success or salvation depends on me.

3 let go of being over zealous( or to eager) Just work diligently

4. Let go of things which have proven impossible. Others agency not mine. Don’t give up to quickly but don’t go on forever.

5 Let go of fear-- fear of pain of the future, give it all to God. Trust in His plan and accept His will.

6 Let go of false beliefs. My worth is not dependent on my accomplishments.

7. Let go of misery. Misery is optional. Sorrow is real. Misery most often comes from stories we tell ourselves. I need to Lean on God and not myself.

8. Let go of self set priorities. Focus on one thing that is needful. Focus on what the Lord wants and being exactly where he wants me to be 100% of the time.

I too often try to control the situation and I want the process to go this certain way, but it’s the Lord's way. I feel that I’ve learned more how to get out of the way with our investigators, I’ve learned to let the Lord lead them and guide them the way He wants them to go and when they are ready they will come.

But I had to learn the same lesson with my companions and with myself. My progression as well as theirs also has to come in the Lord’s time and in His way. As I knelt in prayer I began to thank the Lord for the inspired training received and what it meant for me was to let go of it all. To put the control in the Lord’s hands and let him lead us and guide us by the hand. He has promised me this on countless occasions, I just feel personal responsibility as well. But what I always need to remember is that my level of personal responsibility does not fall into the category of things that are impossible. I can’t change other people I can only change myself. And that is all the Lord asks of me.

I know the Lord is there for me at all times, and in all things. And as long as I open my heart, and mind to him, he will be there.

In my experience as teaching as Jesus Taught I learned more of the potential that the Lord has for all his children, and the way He prepares them for their future responsibilities in building the kingdom of God.

We were given a referral this week from a wonderful member. She had a Samoan family that she wanted us to visit and get in contact with. Her thought was more for the parents, but the Lord had other plans. When we knocked on the door an 18 year old boy opened the door and immediately let us in. Hmm. Interesting, but alright we will go in.  We sat down with him and started talking, getting to know him a little bit better and asking him of his basic beliefs and things. He is a very strong family man, he feels his responsibility is to care for his family and he would do anything at all for his family. As we were talking the strongest impression from the spirit came to me to ask him if he had any desire to serve a mission. I thought it was a bit different because he was catholic and all other things, but I decided to listen to the spirit. I asked him afterwards and he said he would love to, but he was afraid of the rejection he would face. He listed a lot of other concerns and they were all very similar to how most of us feel before we begin our service. We testified to him then and there that if  he served he would have the power of God on his side. He looked really content with that and he looked more at peace. I knew that the Lord desired this boy, who was only 18 to serve a mission and to serve with power and great faith.

I felt so much love for him and I really wanted to help him to get to that point to show the world that He knew the Lord. 

Something else I learned this week form Zone Training Meeting really strengthened my faith in the Restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We focused a lot in the training about why we should teach the restoration and focus on teaching it to everyone.  We were committed to do so and so my companions and I decided to start only teaching the restoration with all we met. My goodness it has made a whole world of difference.

We practiced and role played over and over, teaching short and powerful statements with the three of us, and because we practiced the Lord blessed us with opportunities to teach.

In a period of about 2 hours, we found a lot of new investigators, 1 of which is a huge family who has a great desire to learn and progress in the Gospel. 

I found that as I shared the Restoration, and testified of it’s truth I learned so much. The spirit was stronger in our companionship and people were looking at us differently and responding in ways more powerful, then before.

I felt though that it was like a restoration of truth in my own life. I look at Joseph Smith and how the truth was restored to him in the sacred grove. He saw God the father and Jesus Christ. The truth was given back to him that he had once learned but didn’t have at the time. And that is what the Lord does for each of us, if we but ask.

In D&C 46:7 it reads.

7 But ye are commanded in all things to ask‍ of God, who giveth liberally; and that which the Spirit testifies unto you even so I would that ye should do in all holiness‍ of heart, walking uprightly before me, considering‍ the end of your salvation, doing all things with prayer and thanksgiving, that ye may not be seduced‍ by evil spirits, or doctrines of devils, or the commandments‍ of men; for some are of men, and others of devils.

Joseph Smith asked God and he gave him liberally all the truth he was seeking. And he took the Gospel and shared it to all the world, and it is still happening today. We are going forth as the Lord’s army restoring the truths that have been lost and given them the light and knowledge they need.

D&C 105:31

31 But first let my army become very great, and let it be sanctified‍ before me, that it may become fair as the sun, and clear as the moon, and that her banners may be terrible unto all nations;

I feel so blessed to be part of this work in this day and age. I know without doubt in mind that Heavenly Father is our Father. He lives, and Jesus Christ is His only Begotten son. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the Lord’s kingdom on the earth and I’m grateful to be a part of this Hastening.

Love you All

Sister Benjamin