Naturalmanness?

Well this week just flew right on by..crazy. And now we only have 3 weeks left in this transfer. C-RAZY! Time flies when you are doing the Lords work!

Well Wednesday I had quite a powerful experience. I was studying in the BOM in Alma 24 about the Anti-Nephi-Lehies. And how much they loved the Lord that they would lay down their weapons of war and lose their lives for God.But the part that hit me the hardest was how the Lamanites could turn around and kill all those people, but then change and become converted. There is a verse that says "the Lord worketh in many ways to the salvation of his people." At that point I had this huge overwhelming feeling of God's love for his children. He never stops, he wants us to come back and he is going to give us every opportunity, short of forcing us to follow him. When he sends Missionaries to someone, he knows sometimes they will say no, and reject him. But he sends them anyway because he has SO MUCH LOVE for us. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father blessed me with that experience. It amazes me so much, to realize how much my Heavenly Father trusts me to be here to serve him and his children. Even with all my faults, stupidity and pridefulness and so on..., he trusts and loves me enough to allow me to do this. I tried to tell the zone Leaders about my experience when they came down for training, but i just started crying. I was so overwhelmed with the spirit and emotion. And this is why no doubt can sway me from my faith. I know my Heavenly Father is real. He loves all of us so much. The greatest conversion story that I will see on my mission, I'm sure will be my own. I have been stretched so far past my breaking point and I think literally had my heart broken, probably the lowest point in my life. But because of that I truly witnessed the healing power of the Atonement. I had a heavy weight in my heart everyday, that I thought would never go away, but because of my Savior's sacrifice for me, he lifted my burdens. He carried me and made me the person that I am today. I love my Savior and I am so grateful for the personal testimony that I have received of him on my mission. I know that Jesus is the Christ. I know that He lives. I know that he is the head of the Church and that he loves all of us so much, that he willingly gave EVERYTHING he had for us. I am forever changed by my time thus far on my mission. My life will never be the same. 

Of course things in this area aren't working out exactly like I planned, but I guess it really isn't up to me. I have made mistakes on my mission like every missionary does, and not everyone embraces the Gospel like I want them to. But I know as I do all I can, as I serve him with my might and strength but also with my heart and mind that his gospel will bless the lives of others. This is God's work and I am so glad that I get to take part in it. I'm not perfect, in fact no where near that, but I am going to do my best to overcome my lazy naturalmanness and get out there and go to work.

Thank you for all of your incredible examples to me. Thank you for all that you do!
Love you heaps! 

Love, 

Sister Benjamin